let the coverse to begin
alright gang
theres alot of good chats going down at the mo, scrives legend life defending christ discussion and timmy oakes has done a few crackers with money and authority.
alright why i thouyght id do is a little intro. see it as a blog welcome.
what im gonna do is write alittle bit about my uni experience and then all of you can do the same. or if ur a no go uni kinda guy then just dot the last year. hopefully from these storys converstaions will arise.
alright summer 2002 absoloutly buzzing baout goin 2 uni, i find myself often living and looking foward to the futre rtaher then the present. the summer before brum was no different. the relaity however was far from good. in very different ways i had to deal with the issues sated in my blog title and being a T-totaling virgin Freshers week wasnt easy.
2 years of theological study later and what had i learnt. well firstly that the first yr of uni is a peril of insecurity, secondly sharing a room for a year with a mate is an amazing experience, but the next time i move in with one person im gonna make sure our arguments can be ended with make up sex rather then a christian hug or friendly slap on the back. (for those of u who didnt know i lived in a one bedroom christian loveshack with benny brown in my 2nd year)
third year moved in 2 a filthy student house with 3 lads, if it wasnt heaven it wasnt far off. by this point ym dissertaion on masturbtaion was thriving yet my believe in christianity was raplidy veen defined and then redifined.
The quetsion i want you to all answer is what changed in the 3 years, personal or faith wise. i found myself older wiser better lookign (as i can now grow sideburns) - yet still have the same questions prior. why can i not disregard the faith of my parents, why i am single, again, and more importantly will there ever be a relaity in whcih we are fully secure of ourselves due to a belief in christ. during my time at uni i was sure my securities and self esteem cam from my christian belief, but recent events have made me question these. if we have truth our security is ever present as its in that belief. or so i always throught, now im thinking thats just something i use to say as i felt quite confident at the time.
ok thats enough laters
posted by justyn @ 10:20 AM
19 Comments:
At the beginning of my uni experience I had a faith. Meeting Hannah, Kiera, Tim, Lucinda and others helped it grow. Then I lost it, got bitter, and left church. Went to LST and began to reconstruct my faith, something I'm still doing now. And I still can't grow sideburns, or a beard.
I don't think we should aim to get our security from God alone. We were created social beings and should behave accordingly. A christian worldview can provide a helpful framework but 'no man is an island'.
Here's me.
Got to uni by the skin of my teeth. Lived with a non-Christian in the first year- had a great time with some great Christians and non alike. Felt my faith was challenged but had good support back home, nothing fundamental changed. Really fun year.
Second year- got me a laydee, so that was good. Got WELL behind with work, that was bad. Lived in CU flat- good and bad. I lost touch with almost all my non-Christian friends and didn't really get them back. But really enjoyed livng with Ki and Trev, and so close to the better half, something I've really missed.Faith wise, helping to lead CU kept me focussed, but felt I lost some of my blind 'I'll just trust you God' and 'I'll just pray about it God' faith, don't know if I've really got that back either.
Third year. Still with bird (don't tell her I called her that), still screwing up work royally, living with 2 Christians one non. Me and Joel got way tight, which really helped me out, enjoyed the year in a way, but work was a big weight around my neck. Still loving being involved with such great peope in Fusion though.
All in all, I don't think that the modules I studied in Theology were so personal as yours, Scrivs etc. Black theology- yeah Black people are nice and white people screw them over. Religion and representation- Postmodernity, Simpsons blah blah blah, but I didn't feel they challenged me in the same way. Maybe thats a good thing. I went through a lot with my faith, I came out in a less spiritual and free place- a bit of a less happy place, but a place where I was fully convinced that this was going to be my path. I also needed the balance of mind and spirit- a bit of hippy and a bit of thinking I think.
I can't grow much on me face- I only get hair in patches where me 'burns should be, and I get a weird gotee rather than a full blown beard- guess I'm just more evolved.
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first year lived with some weird and wonderful guys and had some great times - one guy leaving used toilet paper in the corner of the bathroom, bailifs coming to the door, international illegal porn delivered, being officially declared the worst flat in birmingham, getting shot at etc.. but had a good time and made some good friends.
second and third year lived with jon and the boys and was a great time in the house of love - built great relationships with the boys and generally spent the years messing about having fun. spent many a night with jon discussing faith/politics and lost my faith(not to the same extent as jon, mind. I wasn't as clever or as clued up so there wasn't so much knowledge to be shaken).
Built an infamous robot from lego that is cleverer than ben and got a degree.
overall it was pretty boss.
If i tried to grow a beard it would probably turn out to be the most horribly ginger, greasy, dirty beard you might ever see. So i won't.
Rob, did you totally lose your faith, or partially.
Jus, what was the deleted thing about? Tell us tell us!
I have 5 yrs so sorry if it's a bit long!!
First year - loved it!!! Best year. Loved having ppl everywhere all the time. loved the friends i made. loved the challenges (mainly Christian), loved being with ppl that weren't Christians. felt alive and with purpose.
Second year not so great. like tim i lost alot of contact with ppl that weren't 'with the Lord' - real shame, both friend wise & God wise. i kissed a boy (trevor's fault!!!) and that left me guilt ridden for quite a while. However i had gorgeous boys keeping me company, loved living with mr lovell and mr phyo. And meeting the 2nd years gained me some precious firends. hard God yr & friend yr.
3rd was Fab. A shameful kiss turned into a unforgettable relationship. 6 girls under 1 roof i thought may be all a bit much but it was fantastic. finally got to hang out lots with miss jodie foster and chat late into the night with miss fio. loved it. work was failing (oops). Had my bro in Brum, made anew firend emily. God stuff still being challenged (aided by mr matthews and some experiences).
4th yr, learnt alot, started to rethink alot about faith that had been brimming over the uni yrs. confident in my belief/faith while having and accepting alot of questions about it. A very real yr, not bubble-like.
5th yr (present day), thought a bit more. learnt a bit more, lots more questions. strong faith and strong questions.
Overall an awesome experience, some of the best 5yrs. as far as a journey of faith goes, it's been just that, i've learnt that we are journeying and things we say with upmost passion one day may be quietened the next. part of me never wants to say i've come to a conclusion because i want to leave room to hear new things and not live in a way where one thing is challenged and everything collapses with it.
As far as facial hair, i hope with all my heart i can never grow sideburns.
oh crap that really was long. sorry, prob not that interesting.
mainly just partially, although i had worse days and better days - a bit of both really.
the deleted one was the same post but it came out twice. sorry.
this is nice and sharey!!like a proper little house group. shall I open in prayer?
I am in my 6th year in Brum, mores the pity, so I will try to bullet point it.
First year - hated it, living on the prison-like corridors of mason, nearly quit about once a week,but then realised I would never find a husband in East G. spent most of the time kissing boys then feeling guilty then trying to be a christian then getting drunk and forgetting how. on the upside made some amazing friends to last through uni (even though I thought ki was a lesbian when I first met her!) watched bugsy malone with tim lovell. callled jon a gimp a lot. enjoyed drunken accountability sessions with lucinda!!
year 2, still on the hunt for a husband, fell madly in love with one of the nurses (not gay) and was desperate to convert him to the right and only path to righteousness. living with Han, freya, shelly and a random and her psychopath boyfriend.had an operation on my knee and had to wear a forest gump leg brace. lots of conflict in the house, lots of laughs too, and a rather eventful night locked in a room when our housemates boyfriend went psycho and trashed the house and threatened to stab us all (happy days!)
third year - best year ever. living with 5 of my bestest buddies, learning what community really was, still no husband, so much fun and lots of cake, parties, lunch dates with my ginger friend and music television.started to get bored by church. amazing!
Fourth year, thought I ought to do some work, fell for an ambulance man, still no husband, mouse in our house, lots of sad times but lots of good times too, eating crispy cremes from daniel, living with a boy for the first time (albeit a very nice smelling boy!) started to loose some of the nice 'everything will be ok' exterior from my faith.broke my arm.
fifth year; proper nurse now, started a job I hated, changed job, got a boyfriend, got a fiancee, got a husband!! (no baby yet) lost my faith bit by bit alongside said husband, left church, got a bit upset and overwhelmed by the fact that everything I ever knew wasnt quite as it was. Missed so many of my friends.
Sixth year: so where to now? gradually rebuilding some kind of faith, though not even sure what that means. going to a kind of church for people who dont like church. miss all of you guys so terribly! Loving being married SO much! trying to leave birmingham but not managing, my biggest dilemma at the moment is what to do for a living. I dont like nursing as I am doing at the moment, but dont have a clue what else to do, and still want to be a nurse in some ways and still need the money, but basically I want becky claydons job but in Birmingham!
and if i ever grow sideburns please someone immac me...
Kiera, you might never get sideburns but you do have a wonderful moustache.
wab - what about your life changing 4th year in brum? i am SO HURT right now. how very dare you
Thanks Jus
Just wanted to throw this out there- a lot of peoples "uni experience" testamony things go along the lines of, was Christian, got challenged at uni and became less so/not at all, left uni and began rebuilding faith. What I was wondering is, dyou think the combination of learning to critically analyse things at uni while being surrounded by people of all different backgrounds and beliefs prompts you to question but in a very safe, structured environment, especially if you have a strong posse of similarly questioning Christians. Then leaving uni, life is less certain, the world is big and scarey, youre surrounded by the postmodernist ideas of no truth/structure/certainty that you learnt to think in uni but now you're actually living it. So now you dont have the safe environment in which to challenge your faith you revert back to some version of your pre-uni self and all the comfort and security that offers, deciding you cant find objective truth so you may as well just believe in God
Maybe Cat, but I think that for me it was more about my faith had never been really critically tested before. So under this new kind of pressure, its always likely to change a bit. After uni, I have just been rebuilding it again after the experience of it being challenged.
But also, for me, post uni hasn't been the dangerous unknown place. So I haven't felt that I've had to 'come back to my faith' for that reason.
Cat, I found that learning about critical analysis amongst other academic things did serve to ignite my questions and doubts about Christianity.
Reverting back to a pre-uni self can never be a healthy option. If university caused us to awake from our naivety and mature, then reverting back will inevitably cause problems later. While we may be able to make do with our old faith for a while, once we face pressure or crisis our faith will crumble again due to the unresolved problems. Moving forward in light of those questions is much better than pretending they never happened.
Can I just say what a quality bunch of people you all are. I've heard lots about you brummy people and hearing a snipit of your pasts makes me like you all more! I'm only half way through uni (my fault for taking too many year outs!). I'd be lying if I've struggled with faith issues but my main problem is being too comfortable with who I am, what I'm doing and where I'm going. I anticipate that God will shortly throw a spanner in my world system and destroy all my securities to sort out my complacency.
Justyn has secured himself a link on my blog since he's bigged me up - I hope others follow suit!
Came back from my gap year in India very excited about starting uni and making new friends. And I did - some of the very best friends I will ever make. Lived in the tower in Mason next door to a fantastic girl called Rose (who I am inviting to join our community) who was a Christian sharing many of interests.
There were these two very 'keen' Christian girls called Kiera and Hannah who kept inviting me to their room for toasties. I will admit that initially I was little scared of them (I had even notice them and identified them from a distance as Christians at the heaven and hell party on our first or second night) but from then gradually the weekly toastie lunch became hanging out everyday with these incredibly cool and inspiring girls and becoming friends.
Had to make the very hard decision the first Christmas at Uni that Rose and I wanted to live with other Christians and try to explain this graciously to our hall mates who had already worked out houses, but I totally loved halls. They were amazing and fun.
Also that year was when cell was born. I had a strong faith, and it was wonderful having Christian friends to be encouraged and inspired by. Then the cell split, and I led one with Jon. Jon struck me as one of the most Godly guys I knew - someone of true integrity. I use some of his wise words to the kids in my youth club today, and Jon's encouragement has stuck with me to this day. Jon - you are amazing, and leading a cell with you was one of the defining moments of my faith.
Second year was a blast although I missed Kiera incredibly on the Vale, all was good - my course, my friends, socialising, holidays ... and then the third year.
The third year was the year I turned into a hermit. The year that I had to have my toast buttered by my housemates (yes - that was not urban legend) and the year that I did a minimum of 7 hours work a day and the year I cried a lot.
My faith didn't take a battering - instead it was the thing that made getting up possible and bearable, and knowing that God was always there, that he shared in my anxieties and worries was uplifting. But my friendships did take a battering, in that I didn't go out a lot, and couldn't just hang out. There was a level of the community that I missed out on and that's a huge regret - and was impacted further by moving to London directly after uni.
The last two year's I've been working in Westminster - I now have my dream job which I truly LOVE.
Our friendships at Uni have shaped us, and contributed to us being the people that we are today. I for one am very excited by our new online community!
I notice that the girls have all left somewhat longer blogs than the boys - but I'm going. One last highlight from the first year - Jodie - we had good accountability - and I hope you mean drunk in the spirit!!
In response to cat's comment. i don't think we return to our pre - uni faith. Once an experience has changed you and effected you so much, even if you wanted what existed in the past, i don't think it can be returned to, not in the same way. I think once changed, it's always different.
Even if externally someone may seem the same or have some of the same beliefs, the route they took to get there is completely different to what took them there before.
that's what i reckon.
cat i think i am the only loser who see christianity as his fall back.
i often turn back to the same god i beliueved in pre uni
I think I got on this a bit late but I'll do it anyway incase you're intersted.
Well cam to uni from a lovely tight Christian background where I had all the support I could want, and more I didn't want! So suddenly found myself felling completely lost and out of it! Hated my first term, emailed my tutor at Christmas and said I wasn't coming back, then decided to come back the day term began!! Much respect to my halls mates! Gnerally loved the rest of the year, I was very Christian and pretty annoying.
2nd year moved in with a man who consistantly insisted on showing me all sorts of his naked body, living in a house colder than cold. A great year and a tough year. Learnt some harder lessons about myself and my identity, but still 'faith' was part of my life.
3rd was te house from heaven, 4 lads, £49.60 per week. We had cheese in one of our walls. Loved it, still learning lessons aout identity and security, but enjoying being part of fusion and Rubiks (club night) and generally doing what I thought was right! Adn you can al rest assured it was right!
I guess uni was a journey of changing the priorities in may faith instead of questioning it (by which I assume we mean start to think it might not be right etc). I have never lived without Christianity and I have never really come to the point where I have thoght it might not be right.
I love getting into the deep questions of faith and how it shoulf work out in our lives, but I guess I have been able to question some of my assumptions without my 'faith' crumbling in the proccess.
Yeah I'm still abit of an annoying Christian.
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